A New Year’s Resolution!

As you gain experience with children you become an excellent intuitive thinker. That’s what gets you through the day! Ever wondered why you just know what to do when Johnny is pulling on one sleeve to get help with a puzzle and Suzy is pulling on the other to show off her painting? And Sally, across the room is shouting to get your attention? 

Intuitive thinking is on the spot decision-making. 

Without giving it a thought, you respond, “It looks like you need a red piece, Johnny. Can you find a red piece? Such lovely colors, Suzy. Can you name them? Let’s you and I go across the room to see what’s bothering Sally.”

With fellow staff, however, it’s something else. They can be so irritating. And after all, they’re not children. It takes more than intuitive thinking to manage a situation. With them you’re supposed to use reflective communication (explained in an earlier blog). It's hard to use reflective communication when you’re under high stress. Even when you know that it works, because, after all, it’s aim is to quiet things down and make everything OK again: reflective communication just takes too much time! So much faster to say, “Get over here, NOW!” than, “It really upsets me when you ignore my calls for help.”
 
There simply is NO TIME to fiddle around with polite language when everything is sped up, filled with commotion and bustle that requires your constant attention. .
 

How do you find time when there is no time?

You find time through prioritizing and commitment. With the children you have a bedrock commitment to prioritize their safety and the orderly management of the classroom. These things come first, above all else, every day. Even when you come to work feeling low you still have to think of the children. This is what prioritizing and commitment are all about.
 
You might think you take second place to them and that you don’t deserve such attention. But that’s not true. You are just as important as the children, maybe even more so, as they depend on you. And you depend on your fellow staff to create the kind of relationships that foster warmth and caring for the children. If you believe this, truly believe this, then prioritizing and committing yourself to positive staff relationships is a must.  

Here’s  a first step.
Prioritize and make a commitment to do a turn-around the next time you find yourself ready to make a sarcastic remark that is bound to hurt feelings, or the next time you hear your voice rise, or the next time you're about to give someone the evil eye.
 
Turn-around
I worked a lot with parents. One of their chief complaints was how to manage their own behavior during a temper tantrum. After going through all the child’s reasons for tantrums- tiredness, illness, unhappiness, disappointment, etc., making sure those were attended to-I gave them the fail safe solution:  TURN AROUND AND BREATHE DEEPLY. This tactic stops you from escalating the situation, making things worse and leaving behind hurt feelings that simmer throughout the day and keep you awake at night.

 
When you feel yourself rising up inside, ready to pounce on somebody: TURN AROUND AND BREATH DEEPLY.

When you have said or done something to offend another, TURN AROUND AND BREATHE DEEPLY. DO QUICK REPAIR WORK, IMMEDIATELY. 

It only takes a moment to apologize. That’s all. This small, but significant, effort creates a happier day for everyone. So make a New Year’s Resolution to prioritize and commit to doing a TURN AROUND with your fellow staff.
 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

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